Oh, Joe Franklin (Joe Franklin)
I know I couldn't live without you (Yeah Joe)
If I couldn't watch your program, I'd just shrivel up and die
And the maggots would eat my brain (Eat my brain) (Yeah)

Mr. Franklin, you mean so very very much to me
Words simply can't describe you that well
But if I had to choose- if I had to choose an adjective, oh gosh, Joe,
I'd have to say you're swell (Yeah)

Hey Joe (Hey Joe)
Where you going with that gun in your hand (Silly Joe)
I'll bet you'd bet there's no-one in the world
Who can do the Joe Franklin show
Like you (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)