They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they all leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talking a-boot

Sure, they got their national health care
Cheaper meds for prime rates and clean air
Then again, well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out the temperature in Celcius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break your nose and they'll just say "Sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite
It's gotta be they're all up to something
So, quick, before they see it coming
Time for a preemptive strike