I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I'll even throw in a stapler if you insist...

Craigslist!
I'm on Craiglsist, baby, come on!
Yeah!

Well we shared a quick glance
Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance
Never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin' red speedos and a hockey mask
Come on let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist!
Yeah, Craigslist, come on!
I'm on Craigslist
Oh, baby, maybe you are too!
Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!

An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line,
But I was on a cellphone call with my mother.
Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple of minutes.
So what's with the attitude lady?
No tip for you!

Got a trashcan of Styrofoam peanuts
You can have 'em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick 'em up from me
But the trashcan ain't part of the deal
Only givin' you the peanuts, get real!
Don't have hefty bag, so bring your own,
Don't bug me with questions on the phone
Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
And don't complain 'cause they won't cost you a dime
Just ask yourself:
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts.
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have them all.

They're on Craigslist!
Craigslist! Oh, baby come on!
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now!

Craigslist!